Planning and Killing are Two Different Things
by KKeeper808
Summary: After tragedy wracks Hainin's life, it's up to Nazir to prove to his friend that there's a difference between the killing of the contract, and the planning of the murder. But is Hainin willing to see the difference after what has happened to him? (I don't own TES: V)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Guess who's back? Hainin Marshal is! With a three chapter story, no less. I was thinking that he didn't get a lot of love, so I racked my brain for something I could write for him, and while I was watching _Full __House_ last night, it came to me. **

**I hope you all enjoy it. **

* * *

Hainin laughs wickedly as he situates the bucket of water over the doorway leading into the secret passage of the Sanctuary. He steps back, holding his hands up to make sure it didn't fall, and then he rubs them together as he scurries to the table to sit and wait.

"Hainin?" Babette's voice drifted to him from the hall leading to the torture room, and then the vampire child appears, an eyebrow raised. "What in Sithis' name were you giggling about? I heard all the way from my room."

The Imperial assassin grins and points to the bucket above the large stain glass door. "Nazir went out to get some groceries, and I decided to play a little trick on him. He's going to be so angry!"

"Why is that a good thing?" Babette asks.

"Because I'm going to be laughing at him," Hainin replies gleefully.

"You're going to be laughing at who?" A familiar deep voice reached him from the second floor of the sanctuary, and then Nazir appeared, brown bags in his grasp.

Hainin gapes at him while Babette laughs in the background. His eyes go from the Redguard on the second floor to the door of the secret passage, and then he points to the bucket, looking back at Nazir, who was also grinning. "That's supposed to be on your head."

"Well, it's not. And if I'm not mistaken," Nazir says, nodding to the door, "it's about to be on someone else's."

"Hello Family!" Cicero calls as he pushes open the door, and then the bucket falls onto his head, spilling water all over him. He lets out a gasp of astonishment, and then he starts to slowly sink to the floor. "I'm melting! I'm melting!"

Hainin glares at him as Cicero falls to the floor and lays still, the bucket still on his head. "You're not melting, huh? It's just water."

"Oh, really? I thought it was acid," Babette says, moving swiftly out of the way as Hainin swats at her.

"It's not acid? Pity," Nazir grumbles, but his grin betrayed the annoyance in his tone.

Hainin sighs and then walks over to the fallen jester. "I'm sorry, Ciss. That was supposed to fall on Nazir's head."

Cicero sits up, removing the bucket, a smile on his face. "It's alright, my Listener. Cicero enjoys a joke as much as the next assassin."

Hainin grins too, and then holds out his hand to pulls Cicero to his feet. The jester takes his hand, and then yanks the Listener down to the ground beside him. "See? Jokes!"

Hainin splutters from the water that had gotten in his face, which had landed in the puddle. Both Babette and Nazir were busting a gut, and Cicero was laughing as well. The Imperial huff and sits up, face dripping. "Haha. You got my hair wet."

"Poor baby. Now how will you get a female to follow you to bed?" Babette asks, pursing her lips at him.

He glares at her, and then holds up a finger in her direction. "You're lucky I have to go fix my hair, or I would fix you."

Cicero jumps to his feet and holds out his hand, and then draws it back. "Perhaps the Listener should help himself up," he says, and Hainin grumbles as he clambers to his feet.

"I'll be in my room," he grunts, and then shoulders past Cicero down the hall. The three remaining assassins watch him go before they all look at each other guiltily.

"Maybe we shouldn't have laughed so hard," Nazir admits.

"Cicero should not have pulled him down into the water," the jester says regretfully.

"And that crack about the girl… that might have been a little harsh," Babette adds.

All three sigh in succession, and then Nazir works his way down the stairs, Cicero moving to take a bag, but the Redguard moves away from him. "You're wet," he reminds the jester, who nods in response and removes his hat, squeezing out the liquid.

Nazir puts the bags down on the table and starts to unpack the stuff he had gotten. Babette climbs onto a chair to look in a bag, and pulls out a hair brush with a silver handle and red gems on the back. "What is this for?" she asks, holding it up by the end with her fingertips.

Nazir snatches it from her hand and stuffs it into his robe. "Nothing. Forget you saw that."

She raises an eyebrow but doesn't persist, and instead pulls out a book. One look at the title tells her exactly who it's for. "Cicero." The jester looks up from wringing out his pant leg, and prances over to her, taking the book from her hand before hopping over to Nazir and planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Cicero thanks you, Nazir," he says, and then scampers out of the dining room towards the bedrooms. Nazir rubs his cheek thoughtfully and then catches Babette looking at him. He makes a disgusted face and hurriedly rubs his hand on his leg.

"Nazir, I've been thinking," Babette begins, and Nazir glances at her. "I've been thinking that we should all do something together sometime soon. Just so we can remind ourselves that we're a family."

"Babette, my girl, that's actually not a bad idea. What did you have in mind?" he questions.

"I got a few ideas," she answers with a grin.

* * *

**And there's the first chapter! Hopefully y'all are interested, because I'm pretty sure this is probably one of the crappiest ideas for a story I've ever come up with. **

**However! I did write a pretty good Ziris one last night as well that I'm going to upload after I'm done with this one. I actually enjoyed writing it, so hopefully you guys will enjoy reading it. **

**Ah, I better stop talking about it so you guys don't get excited. **

**Review and tell me what you guys think, and if you want the next chapter. I won't upload it if you guys don't like, but personally, I would want to know what Babette is planning.**

**Thanks again folks, and have a lovely rest of your day. Or night. Whichever comes first. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay! Second chapter! Yay! **

**Or, not yay, since this is the sadness chapter.**

**But, I didn't cry, so you guys prob' won't. Unless Hainin crying causes you to cry. **

***leshrug* Whatever sinks your boat.**

**Hah, y'get it? Cause, whatever floats your boat is like, whatever makes you happy. **

**And whatever sinks your boat is like, whatever makes you sad?**

**You feel me?**

**... I need to see a therapist. **

* * *

Hainin gazes half-heartedly down at the tied up victim before him who had a bag over his head, and was whimpering loudly. "Please, let me go!" he begs.

"Will you shut up and get back to whimpering? I like the sound," Babette says, her eyes closed. "Hainin, if you're not going to enjoy it like I am, then just kill him."

Hainin sighs and then crouches down in front of the man, holding up his Blade of Woe. He stops just before he cuts his throat, however, and he stands up again. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm just not in the mood for this." He slips his knife back into its sheath on his belt and sends them a light grin. "I'll see you later."

He leaves the torture room and walks away down the hall towards the master bedroom. Nazir and Cicero watch him leave, and then Cicero starts to follow him, but Nazir holds out his hand. "No, I'll go." He waves his hand at the captured man. "Let him go." He then heads out of the room after the Imperial, and Cicero glances at Babette.

"Well, vampire child, I guess we better do as he says."

Babette tsks disappointedly, but sighs all the same and then lifts the man's tied hands and bites through the rope bounding them together. "Let's take him to Dawnstar I suppose," she grumbles, and Cicero pats her on the head as she pushes the prisoner towards the door of the torture chamber. She turns and fixes him with a hard amber stare. "Never pat me on the head again."

"Noted," Cicero replies, and then follows her out of the torture chamber.

Nazir, meanwhile, had reached Hainin's master bedroom at the end of the hall, and was waiting outside, trying to figure out what to say.

Before he could make up his mind, he heard Hainin's quiet voice from within the bedroom. "Nazir, I know you're lurking around out there. If you want to say something, come in and say it."

Nazir lets out a small breath and pushes open the bedroom door to Hainin sitting on the edge of his bed. He had a piece of paper in his hands, and seemed to be reading it to himself. The Redguard stood in the doorway until the Imperial acknowledged his entrance by lifting his head and glancing at him.

"Did you come to tell me I'm a baby for not killing the man?" he asks, returning his gray eyes to the paper.

"No. I came to find out why you didn't," Nazir responds, stepping further into the room.

Hainin doesn't respond, doesn't even look up from the paper this time. Nazir decided to just ask what was on the parchment, but Hainin beat him to it. "She's gone, Nazir."

The assassin's brow furrowed, trying to find out who 'she' could possibly be. An old lover? A sister? … A wife?

"Excuse me for asking, my Listener, but… Who is gone?" he asks after running through possible 'she's' in his head.

Hainin lets out a shuddering breath before replying. "My mother. She died last night in her sleep." He holds out the letter to Nazir, who reads it silently to himself, his eyes landing on the words 'mother' and 'died'. He glances at the Imperial assassin, who was sitting with his head in his hands.

Before Nazir could say anything, Hainin raises his head and looks at him. "I can't believe she's gone. Living one day, smiling, cooking, and then she can just… disappear by closing her eyes and going to sleep. It just…" The Imperial lets out a sob, and then drops his head back into his hands, his body shaking with tears.

Nazir wasn't sure what to do, but he knew he had to comfort his friend somehow, so he sits down beside Hainin on the bed and puts an arm around his shoulders in a form of a hug. Hainin turns and hugs him back, his tears getting the front of the Redguard's robes wet.

Nazir let Hainin cry, sitting silently with his arm around his friend. He himself had never cried before, had hardened himself so that he wasn't capable, but he knew that Hainin hadn't ever cried, either. At least, not since he had joined the Brotherhood. Nazir had just automatically assumed that assassins didn't cry, because they were hardened from killing people already.

This was Hainin's mother, however. And the fact that she had died must have knocked out any of Hainin's need to kill something, and that's why he hadn't wanted to kill the captive.

Still, though, did this mean that Hainin wouldn't want to kill anything ever again? He couldn't just stop, could he? "I'm sorry, Hay," he says at last, and the Imperial sniffs, pulling away from him and wiping at his eyes.

"No one could have stopped it. Something like that just happens," he tells him. "I know that much. It just makes me think, you know? Think about how we kill people without even considering who they are, what their life is."

"But it's not us who want the targets dead. It's the people who give us the contracts. We just do the dirty work so they don't have too," Nazir points out.

"That's true. But we're the ones deciding to kill the person. We don't have to, we just do it for the gold. It makes me wonder if we're actually…" Hainin trails off, unable to think of the word.

"Well, Babette's not human," the Redguard reminds him, and Hainin smiles a bit at that, but loses it after a moment and gazes down at the floor.

"I just… I don't know if I'm cut out for this. The way you, and Babette, and Cicero can just kill someone without thinking about it, and I'm over here, considering their family, and their lives. Who they might be leaving behind if they die. It makes me wonder if I should have ever joined the Dark Brotherhood."

"Don't say that. Even if you don't like to kill people, you were obviously made for it. You're the Listener," Nazir says.

"Maybe the Night Mother was wrong."

"Stop it." Nazir grabs Hainin by the shoulders and forces him to look at him. "Listen to me. You're not the one wishing death onto people. You have no part in their death except for carrying it out. You're human, we all are. We're only doing it so that we can keep our Family going."

"I know! I… I'm hurting, Nazir," the Imperial tells him, and Nazir sighs before pulling Hainin back into a hug.

"I know, pal. I know."

* * *

**The brotherly love between this two is very nice. It makes me happy. **

**I know Nazir isn't too Nazirish in this chapter, but I couldn't figure out how to write him being comforting, so I just took my dad and threw him in Nazir's place for this part of the story.**

**Good job, Dad!**

**Review if you love or hate, and the third chapter will be up tomorrow!**

**Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**And this is the final chapter! There's a bit of a jump between the last chapter and this one, but it's not too bad. Hainin left to go to his mother's funeral, and hasn't come back.**

**That's pretty much it.**

**Enjoy!**

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"Is the Listener going to come home soon?" Cicero asks from his chair besides the Night Mother's coffin. Nazir sighs as he shuffles the letters in his hands.

"I don't know, jester. He may have wanted to stay and visit his father and sister while he was in Falkreath."

Cicero sighs and gazes down at the book he was holding in his hands. "Cicero misses the Listener."

"I do too," Nazir admits before he walks down the stairs to the dining room. One of the new recruits bowed to him as he came in, and he nods back to her before he sits down at the table. Babette appeared from the bedrooms, a comb in her hand. She runs it through her short hair and sits down beside him.

"Any news?" she asks, glancing at the papers he was holding, and Nazir shrugs.

"Not really. Just a few new contracts. Apparently the Oculatus are working to fortify protection on the new Emperor, who hasn't been chosen yet."

Babette takes a letter from his hand and skims it briefly. "I meant about Hainin."

Nazir flinches at the name, but shrugs again. "I don't know. If he wants to stay away for a while, then that's his choice. We don't control him."

Babette doesn't say anything more, and instead puts the paper down on the table and stands up. "I'm going to go to Dawnstar."

"What for?" Nazir asks, and she shrugs.

"Just for something to do. I'm tired of sitting in the Sanctuary all day. Cicero!" The jester's head appears over the stone wall on the second floor. "Do you want to come to Dawnstar with me?"

"Yes, please!" Cicero scampers down the steps and stands at the stain glass door. Babette glances at Nazir once more, as though waiting for him to say he wanted to go too, but the Redguard didn't speak, and so the two assassins leave the Sanctuary through the door, leaving Nazir alone with the recruit.

"Do you need anything, Nazir?" she asks, and he shakes his head.

"I'm fine. Thank you." She bows and leaves the dining room for the bedrooms, and Nazir glances around before he pulls out the most recent letter from the missing Imperial and reads it too himself.

_Family,_

_I've decided that I'm going to stay here in Falkreath for a little while. Just to think for a bit. _

_I don't know when I'm going to come home. Who knows if I will? _

_Regards,_

_Hainin_

Nazir folds the paper up and shoves it into his pocket. He hadn't shown it to Babette and Cicero; he hadn't wanted to cause a tiff over Hainin's decision. It was like he had said: if he didn't want to come back, that was his choice, not theirs.

The Redguard sighs and stands up, stretching his arms over his head, and then out in front of him. It had been almost a month since Hainin had left. Obviously, he wasn't coming back.

"Still wearing your stupid robes, I see." A familiar voice made Nazir stop dead as he was beginning to stand up, and he slowly raises his head to the second floor of the Sanctuary to see a familiar grin smirking down at him. "Why don't you wear normal armor?"

"We Redguards don't wear armor. It makes us sweaty," he answers. Hainin shakes his head and makes his way down the stairs.

"Then I guess it's good that you don't. I don't want to have to smell you all the time." He walks over to Nazir and stands before him, head tilted. "I'm back."

"You're back," Nazir repeats. Then he grins and grabs the Imperial in a hug. "It's good to have you home, brother."

"It's good to be home. I visited the old Sanctuary. I couldn't be in there for more than two minutes without shaking," he says, sitting down in a chair after dumping his bag onto the floor. Nazir sits down beside him.

"How was the funeral?"

"Sad. But then again, most are. Made it worse that it was in Falkreath, but…" Hainin shrugs. "How's everything been here?"

"Nothing's happened. We got a few new contracts today, but you didn't miss anything important," Nazir tells him, and Hainin nods.

"That's good." He glances at the Redguard beside him. "Sorry I was gone so long. I just needed time to think, you know?"

Nazir nods in understanding. "I get it, don't worry."

"Where's Babette and Cicero. I want to apologize to them, too," Hainin asks, and Nazir gestures to the stain glass door.

"They went to Dawnstar. They'll be back soon, I'm sure," the Redguard says, and the Imperial sighs and stands up, picking up his bag from the floor.

"I guess I'll go unpack while I wait, then." He starts to walk away down the hallway, but Nazir calls his name, and he glances over his shoulder at him.

"It really is good to have you back, Hay. Next time, don't leave for so long," he says, and the Listener smiles slightly, the corner of his mouth raising.

"It's good to be back." He disappears into his bedroom, the door shutting, and Nazir sits back down in his chair, pulling out the letter. He gazes at it briefly before he rips it up into strips and rips those into small squares, and tosses them into the fire beneath the cooking spit.

"Glad to hear it," the Redguard says quietly, a grin crossing his own face.

* * *

**Ah, and that's the end!**

**Thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night. **

**I'm outtie five thousand till the next one.**


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